By CHARLES M. GUTHRIE
of the editorial page staff
published by the StarTribune
published by the StarTribune
February 22, 1958
DISCOURAGING statistics on delinquency not-withstanding, and rock 'n' roll aside, it may be that a bright new day is coming for the teen-agers. They may be smarter than we think. One group of them, at least, has taken a long step ahead socially and possibly others will follow this enlightened lead.
I have read with extreme satisfaction that some 70 students at Wayzata high school have organized a club and that the avowed intention of the members is not to go steady.
"Going steady" has been a long-time high school affliction and the practice never can be eradicated either by organization or law. But the purpose of the club is noble and its effort in the right direction.
I HAVE been through the going-steady phase with two children and must face it again with a third. I have no hope of escape. It is a sore experience. The victim is completely cold to adult reasoning and is convinced beyond doubt, at the ripe old age of 17, that he has found his true love.
Such seizures are inevitable, and you might as well argue with the wind as with a smitten adolescent. The problem, in fact, defies argument. The person you're trying to convince will not heed logic. He thinks his is a special case.
Love, of course, is within the understanding even of one long in the marital traces but what always irked me beyond unruffled endurance was the conviction that what kept the young fires burning, at least as much as love, was convenience.
This is important to the teeen-ager. Being a lonesome Joe is anathema. He needs to be one of the crowd. He craves acceptance.
But it is safe to assume that if any sane adult had the chance to relive his youth, while retaining his mature outlook, he would not cleave to one girl. He would be smart and play the field, thus reducing the risk of later regret.
ROMANCE that endures from adolescence to altar is appealing stuff for song and story but the chances are better than otherwise that it will wear thin in the give and take of marriage. The one-girl boy does not give himself a fair chance in matrimony. While it is possible that Gracie may be the right girl, after all marriage is a gamble and she may prove to be the wrong one. When such a discovery is made after marriage it brings the spouse up short. It is too late then to shop around. He who does so operates at great peril and in violation of his vows.
I favor marriage unreservedly but think it should get a fair chance. It doesn't get such a chance when the parties involved are young sprouts who have never been around or dated on an unrestricted basis.
ONE MARRIAGE in every four now ends in divorce. This indicates not only too little thought in picking a mate but too light a concept of the resolve, responsibility and sacrifice that marriage entails.
I view with alarm the drift toward marriage by youngsters who go into it with blithe abandon and who rate the union of a man and a maid as an eternal lark. Going steady accelerates this trend.
Most of us oldsters never gave marriage more than a nebulous thought until we were through school and had a job. Now high school marriage is not uncommon and the fellow or girl who gets through college unhitched is becoming a rarity.
Any effort to alter the high school social pattern may seem hopeless but the movement at Wayzata has this much promise: it gives the student member a chance to "belong" without going steady.
It also may convince him that while high school life can be beautiful if you have a steady girl, it can be more exciting if you have several occasional ones. The girls may find it so, too.
Copyright 2015 StarTribune. Republished here with the permission of the StarTribune. No further republication or redistribution is permitted without the express approval of the StarTribune.
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