of the editorial page staff
published by the StarTribune
April 4, 1959
LATELY I've had a spate of requests for a piece about spring. The good folk have in mind rhapsodies about robins, pussy willows, crocuses, tulips, rhubarb, asparagus and nature's abundance.
Frankly, I'm not up to it. The glories of the season have been warbled so everlastingly by poets, song writers and romanticists--all better qualified for the job than I--that aping them would be not only presumptuous but impossible.
Besides, my heart would not be in it. I cannot give spring unqualified endorsement. It represents a nice change in the weather but is not an unmitigated blessing even when the screens are up and the fuel bills down. There is something I have disliked exceedingly about spring ever since coming of age. Spring is not only running sap and germinating seeds, it is work.
WITH SPRING all the neighbors get busy on the yards and your wife gets busy on you. You must make with the paint brush. If the place isn't decorated right away she'll go mad.
In winter you can loaf in good conscience. In spring, custom being what it is, you cannot loaf at all. And the tragedy is that you don't want to--at first. All about you is the mess of winter's departure and dog visitations. Twigs and leaves and candy wrappers, cartons, papers, Christmas trees, refuse and decay are everywhere. Ubiquitous garbage cans stand out back, crying for paint or concealment. The garage is full of flower pots and old bed springs. Work is all around and your impulse is to get at it.
YOU CAN'T forget the demands of spring even by reading. Sunday newspaper supplements won't let you. You are advised on everything from potting begonias to paneling walls. You must rake, fertilize and seed the lawn so that the dandelions and crabgrass will have something to thrive in later. You must plan your rose garden. The assumption is that the roses now in the ground are all dead and any planting and planning done last spring is water over the dam. In my case this is correct.
You are urged to hang a lot of paper, paint everything that will hold still, sand the floors, replace latches, doorknobs, rusted screens and severed sash cord, rewire and re-roof the house and modernize the bathroom.
I am reminded every spring about the backyard patio I haven't put in, which would provide us a place to cook hamburgers. I should also drop in on the Flemings and see what they've done with their kitchen. I can't help what the Flemings have done with their kitchen. I will not and cannot do all the things that should be done. Mind and body will not permit it.
NO TREATISE on spring would be complete without inclusion of the car. The car is an investment no thinking man neglects. How could he, with those payments? In spring it must be tuned up for summer. I do much of this work myself. Then I know it's done right. This includes replacing the antifreeze with water, washing and polishing the exterior, rotating the tires and checking them for pressure.
Better minds than mine carry on from there. You must, of course, have new plugs and points. These you always need. Transmission and differential also should be checked, if you value a sense of security when you take to the highway with your loved ones. Likewise the fuel and water pumps and the oil and air filters. Also have the wheels lined up and the brakes adjusted. If you can think of anything else don't tell me.
THE BIG spring curse is housecleaning. Reams could be written about it--and have. It's not as bad as in the old rug-beating days but even electric appliances haven't made it a ball. Why more women don't go stark, raving crazy polishing woodwork, scrubbing floors, dusting, fighting moths, washing windows and installing shelf paper is a mystery.
I shun these chores like the plague, yielding only to the extent of washing the outside windows. It isn't fitting for women to work outdoors on ladders. It makes the husband look bad. Anyway, I'm busy enough painting. That's about as monotonous as housecleaning.
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