Marriage Isn't Every Girl's Dream

By CHARLES M. GUTHRIE

of the editorial page staff

published by the StarTribune

February 13, 1960

   IN ALMOST any business establishment that has 50 or more employees you'll find several who aren't married.  One of the favorite coffee-break pastimes of those who can't endure minding their own business is to speculate on how this can be.

   The bachelor, unless he is a prime catch (i.e., a fellow with money) causes no great stir.  His male associates either dismiss him as a person without charm or respect him as a discerning chap who knows when he's well off.  But any girl bertween 25 and 45 who's still single will set the boys to gabbling like chickens in the barnyard.

   "I WONDER why it is that Dolly never got married?" some toothless wolf will muse.  "She's completely charming, dresses well and has a trim figure.  Personally, I coud go for her."  He shakes his head in bafflement and with a trace of dejection.  "She'd better hurry up, too.  Dolly isn't getting any younger."

   His inference is that Dolly would go for him, too, if he as much as crooked a finger, and it's a shame that all the males such as he have been spoken for and are unavailable.

   Then there's Sarah, a lovely dish who can't yet be 30.  A smart kid, too, but without a boyfriend.  Too bad.  Maybe she's too smart.  Her brains probably scare the men off.  She'll wake up some day to find that she's a spinster.  

   IT SELDOM occurs to men, particularly married ones, that the bachelor girl could remain one by choice.  If she isn't married, it's because nobody has asked her.  It's that simple.

   How smug can the male animal be?  While it's true that the question must be popped, any lady with an ounce of guile and awareness of masculine susceptibility to female enchantment can bring this about if she has the desire and is given the chance.

  The bleak fact is, however, that all women are not smitten by all men.  As I get it, most ladies old enough to have their wits about them would rather be dead than married to most men.

   ONCE A GIRL outgrows the dewy-eyed phase when she's in love with romance per se--the age when most of them get married--she becomes harder and harder to snare and is apt to find a career more and more attractive than betrothal to Harry, Herbert or Arthur.

   Also, as she grows in age and experience, the envy that has torn her at being the bridesmaid but not the bride may change to satisfaction with her own freedom--freedom from housework, husbands, financial crises and burping babies.  Following a Sunday afternoon amid the clutter and chaos of Hazel's little family she may return to the quiet and orderly office on Monday morning with renewed appreciation.

   CONCERNED though I am about the population explosion, I'm not attempting here to argue against marriage.  Personally, I wouldn't and couldn't do without it.  But we don't all have the same sense of values, and those who aren't attracted to this particular involvement can remain so, for all of me.

   Unless she's someone whose marriage is delayed or prevented by circumstances, I feel no pity for the bachelor girl.  She doesn't need it.  She probably prefers things as they are.

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