Critic's Lot Is Not a Happy One

By CHARLES M. GUTHRIE
of the editorial page staff
published by the StarTribune
May 30, 1959

   EVERY FIVE or six months someone gets me on the phone and says he's written a short story or essay and would I be kind enough to look it over and tell him whether it's any good.
   Not knowing good work from bad, I'm ill equipped for the assignment.  The sane response would be to admit it and refer him to someone who knew about such things.  But there is implied flattery in the request.  And since I'm a sucker for flattery I assume a learned and pontifical tone and tell him to send his manuscript along.
   I usually find out afterward that he's confused me with brother Bud, who actually can write and has a Pulitzer prize as evidence.  Or he assumes that I've vicariously absorbed some of Bud's ability.  This is a sobering and deflating discovery.

   ONE OF MY literary friends tells me that the only way to handle those seeking gratis advice is to send back the manuscript by return mail with a note to the author urging him to rush it to the Saturday Evening Post without changing even a comma.  The piece is priceless--at least up to $1,500.
   "By doing this," said my friend, "you protect yourself.  You don't lose the time it would otherwise take to wade through the stuff and you don't lose the writer's goodwill by telling him the truth.  He will count you as a bright and discerning chap, even though you are a cheat and a liar.
   "You see, what he's really after is praise, and praise you give him.  When the manuscript is rejected, he won't blame you.  He'll blame the magazine editors for not sharing your vaulted opinion of his piece, and comfort himself with the rationalization that one must be a 'name' writer to sell anything.
   "The aspiring author will accept criticism from someone he pays for criticism.  He won't accept it from you because he pays you nothing.  From you he expects cheers and encouragement.  If you point out flaws in his stumbling prose, or tell him to take up piano tuning, he'll dismiss you as an illiterate and tell his friends you're a fraud."

   THERE IS much truth in what my friend said.  I knew it even before he told me.  But conscience and innate stupidity never permitted me to so act.  I burned up the better part of each weekend for a solid winter years ago trying to help a little old lady pump life into a love story that had all the fire of the official proceedings of the county board of commissioners.
   I should have said, "My God, Miss Frisby, this thing is appalling.  Why don't you relax and go back to 'When Knighthood was in Flower' and save time for us both?"
   But she was a gentle and Victorian retired teacher who had corrected more English themes than I could lift.  She knew a gerund from a gerundive and thus thought she could write.  I lacked the heart to awaken her to reality.  So the great futility continued until I left town.

   I CANNOT really blame aspiring writers for taking offense when amateur critics find fault with their work. You sweat and strive and finally come up with something that sounds good to you and you assume it should sound good to everyone.  You've finally produced a gem.  Your hopes run high.  Why should you thank anyone for dashing your dreams by telling you it's no good?
   I had a novel experience a while back, however.  A friend of a friend of mine sent me a short story.  It wasn't bad.  However, I criticized it rather severely and returned it, confident that I'd never hear from the author again.
   But I was wrong.  Here apparently, was a fellow who really wanted criticism..A couple of weeks later I got a nice letter of thanks.  He'd redone the story along the lines I'd suggested.
   Now I'm torn with misgivings.  I'm not sure my criticisms were valid.  Maybe he'd have been wise to keep me out of the act.  I've never written a salable short story and have quit trying.  It's always seemed like such an easy way to make money, too.
   Try it sometime, and see.

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