It's Time to Inventory Spring Work Tools

By CHARLES M. GUTHRIE
of the Minneapolis Tribune editorial page staff
published by the StarTribune
April 28, 1956


   THIS IS the time of year when the solid citizen takes inventory of his yard and garden tools, insecticides, weed killers, fertilizer, paints, hammers, saws and ladders so as to be ready for a fast getaway when the mood to shore up and beautify the estate seizes him.
   In fact, unless he is a laggard, he already has taken preliminary steps. In the main it is to the laggard that this prose is pointed. There should be no shilly-shallying. The cleanup-paintup business must go forward.

   BY NOW the snow shovel should be stashed away (if you are an optimist), the yard raked and the refuse burned, with care being taken not to ignite the garage. In a careless moment the other day I started a small conflagration in some mulch protecting a flower bed and now fear for the future of a couple of rosebushes in which I had set big store. But in the spring work program you cannot let fear of disaster dissuade you. Timidity has no place.
   Also you should have the garden hose out of winter quarters, affixed to the faucet and clear of the driveway. This erases the risk of backing over it with the car.
   By now, too, you should be glaring at the storm windows with an eye to their removal, wondering if you can talk your wife into the glass-washing job, and thinking about the screens that didn't get painted during the winter.

   THE OTHER DAY I went into the basement to appraise my work bench. Any man worth his salt has a work bench. It is the heart of the efficient household. During the winter it provides parking space for accumulated magazines and newspapers, fruit jars, string, abandoned toys, croquet sets and picnic jugs. In summer, if you are a do-it-yourselfer, you can even use it for what it's for.
   After clearing the debris from mine, I was happy to find my tools in fair shape for action. Three of the five two-bit paintbrushes were ready to go and one of the others, I think, can be made pliant with half a dozen hammer strokes. The fifth had to be discarded, its bristles being welded forever to the bottom of a tomato can.
   My chisel and putty knife, without which I would feel helpless, were where they belonged. Usually they do not emerge until June. I find a chisel the ideal tool for horsing lids off paint cans. A putty knife is good for scraping purposes and can also be used as a putty knife if you have mastered the art of drawing it along the repair area without the putty curling up in pursuit.

   MY INVENTORY also uncovered a glass cutter and pipewrench. These should be included in every man's work kit. Both are beyond  my ability but are nice show pieces. They set you up as a craftsman. One costly fiasco soured me permanently on the glass cutter. The pipewrench is almost as useless but not quite. In a pinch it can be used for cracking filberts.
   One should also have a screwdriver and wire nippers. You never know when you will be called on to put a fresh washer on a faucet or replace the gizmo on an extension cord. You will save face by being prepared.
   One spring chore that impends involves installing a new light fixture in the kitchen. Everyone tells me there is nothing to it but I am skittish. I have tackled nothing-to-it- jobs before, and find I have a nice flair for ineptitude.

   A WORD of caution before you start your spring work. Do only one thing at a time. Never try simultaneously to rake the yard, clean the garage and paint the back stoop. You will find yourself wandering aimlessly about wondering where you left the rake or hunting for the paint brush or being distracted by discovering in the garage a sack of nails you mislaid in October.
   My wife and I were cleaning the attic recently and I went below for a dust pan. I grabbed a wastebasket en route and took it out back to burn the refuse. While doing so I noticed a broom in the garage, which reminded me of a long-delayed chore. Twenty minutes later my wife found me sweeping out the car, oblivious to my original mission.
   Since then I have been a single-purpose, all-business operator. This curbs the pleasant, rambling fancies that spring inspires but it cuts down the cracks about senility.
   And after all, a man must put pride above dreams.


Copyright 2019 StarTribune. Republished here with the permission of the StarTribune. No further republication or redistribution is permitted without the express approval of the StarTribune.